New Mum's survival guide to sleepless nights
How to survive on little/no sleep as a new Mum
It’s something every new Mum experiences at some point - sleep deprivation. This zombie-like state that you find yourself in is not uncommon and it’s bloody hard work! I asked some Mums to share their tips and advice on coping with very little sleep and they have really come through for us, I hope these little nuggets of wisdom help you through the early (probably sleepless) days of Motherhood.
Things will get easier
12 weeks in I can definitely say it gets easier. The early weeks felt like you’d never sleep again, but we’ve got a sort of routine and it’s definitely more bearable than it felt at the start.
A few words of wisdom my NCT girls and I like to remind each other of:
1) this is not your new normal - things will get easier
2) don’t pressure yourself (or your baby), you’re both learning and learning takes a little time
On that note - having a support system in place for those crazy AM wake ups is everything! Especially early on! I’ve been so lucky with my NCT group.
Finally, in all things as a new mum (and in life generally) - YOU DO YOU! Trust your instinct and intuition, you know your baby better than any other mum/blog/book etc even if you don’t realise it just yet ♥️I also like to make sure I have everything I need in reach before I settle down for the night. That way if I don’t want to (or don’t have the energy to) get out of bed for night feeds or changes then I don’t have to. I can do it all from where I am and maximise sleep time for me and baby 😴
- Elisabeth Booth, The Giftsmith
“Not every baby doesn’t sleep, some do some don’t (just the way it is) but Ewan the Dream Sheep help’s and have saved mine and many parents sleepless nights! Its the one thing I’d recommend to anyone.”
Sleep when the baby sleeps
My advice is to not stress, sleep when baby sleeps if you can. this is such a short amount of time, and you can waste it so easily. Your little baby has just arrived into a completely new world as have you.. So try and relax and ride it out. It is both a huge recovering time. Remember the thing you both need most is rest to recover and enjoy this exciting time
- Catherine Vickery-Clark, Golden Treasure Consultancy
Sugar and caffeine
“Toffifee has got me through the last few months. And also knowing Ronnie is my last I’m definitely more appreciative of the quiet nights just me and him, and also just saying to myself it wont last forever helps.”
“Coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ☕️”
I think my advice would be try to not let other people's expectations put pressure on you.
People constantly say " Is your baby good and sleeps through the night"
But actually if your baby does not sleep through the night it does not mean you have a bad baby - although that is what you feel is implied!
It is completely normal for babies to wake up at night and is physiologically what they are meant to do.
So expect your little one to wake ......be kind to yourself and allow yourself some slack. You won't be able to get everything done around the house. But you are being there for your little one x and it will pass but it won't feel like that in that moment. So have chocolate/ coffee handy or whatever helps you get through those exhausting nights.- Rachel Millard, Kindermusik
Get out of the house if you can - fresh air and a sense of accomplishment helped me feel better about things that were out of my control in the first few weeks/months. Know that nothing lasts forever and those long nights are being endured by almost every new mother ❤️
(Also coffee and a huge side of cake 😋)- Bethany Rosindell, Day Eight
Download a free white noise app
“White noise.
All of the white noise.
It’s something that I use in my newborn photoshoots to help babies drift off to sleep, and something that I used with my own children when they were tiny (I remember the zombie days well!)
They all like different volumes and even different types of white noise, so it’s a case of trial and error until you find the sweet spot for them. Think about what they seem to like listening to at home, what seems to chill them out? Download a white noise app (there are loads of free ones) and give it a go - good luck!”
Evvvvveryone will tell you “sleep when the baby sleeps”.... this gets so draining to hear over and over! It’s also not easy to do if you’re not a seasoned daytime napper, and can make you feel a bit groggy or worse than before on occasion. It can lead to a feeling of wasting the time if you didn’t manage to fall asleep as the growing list of chores hasn’t shrunk when your baby wakes up plus you are still tired! But wait, there is an alternative!! Remove the pressure to fall asleep, and use the time to actively rest. So for example, you could spend the first 5 minutes of baby’s nap doing some mindful deep breathing. Add in a visualisation, somewhere relaxing like a beach from holiday, and let your mind wander within this peaceful imagined scene. Just this simple act of consciously taking deep and slow long breaths in and out can “reset” the brain and body, meaning you feel just as rested as if you had actually napped. If you need a bit more of a guided session, the app “insight timer” has lots of lovely meditations and musical pieces that you can select based on theme and length. Listening to an audiobook with eyes closed is another fab way of switching off properly. Whatever you choose, do this first, as soon as baby falls asleep. Enjoy this time for you; self care is not selfish!
- Sarah Collison, Happy Births
My biggest piece of advice would be to relax and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I remember thinking that I must be the only one going through it, that I must be doing something wrong. Of course that was rubbish, and it’s something that most Mums experience at some point. Give yourself a break, ask for help and talk to friends and family about it, you don’t have to go through it alone.
It’s a well known torture tactic, depriving someone of sleep for prolonged periods of time, and I can see that it would be a very effective way of breaking someone down! I remember feeling like I was going to snap at any moment and my brain felt like it had gone to mush, but it was simply due to a lack of sleep. It won’t last forever, even though it seems like you’re in it for a lifetime!
Rachel x
If you know a new Mum that’s going through this or a Mum-to-be that might find this useful then please do share this post with them.
A lot of my clients call me the baby whisperer because of my experience settling babies. I love to share my tips and advice during newborn photoshoots, think of it as part of the service! If you’re interested in booking a newborn photoshoot pop over here to find out more.
